The Heart Wants What the Heart Wants

By Alexandra Copeland

Sometimes the lessons we need to learn most in life are the ones we’re not the least bit interested in learning. This is never more true than in the area of romance. We’re told by well-meaning people that the heart wants what the heart wants. We see this echoed in fairytales, movies, and romance novels. In all of those, happily ever after comes like clockwork, but in real life we don’t see it playing out in quite the same fashion. The heart sees what it wants, and if its within close proximity and we’ve got enough gusto, most of us will reach out and grab it. Sometimes what we grab isn’t at all what we expected, and we end up in relationships that cause us more pain than happiness.

Hebrews 4:13 (NLT) tells us, “Nothing in all creation is hidden from God. Everything is naked and exposed before his eyes, and he is the one to whom we are accountable.”  Our God knows everything, and nothing escapes Him. He is concerned about every detail of our existences. Ephesians 1:11 tells us that God predestined us according to His Will. We were placed on this earth at an appointed time and born in exactly the place that God destined. We can know with confidence that we have a destiny and that God tailored our destinies perfectly because He knows each of us intimately. He knows the person that will add greatly to the happiness and fulfillment that He desires us to experience in life.

The unity that Heavenly Father has in mind is that two people will compliment each other’s strengths and strengthen each other’s weaknesses. Jesus Christ made it clear in Matthew 7:5 that if you have a beam in your eye, then you’re in no position to see a speck in someone else’s eye. So, if we’ve not done some general housekeeping in our own hearts, we certainly can’t help someone sweep the floor in theirs.

God tells us in Proverbs 27:17 that just as iron sharpens iron, we ought to be able to sharpen those we love. The whole purpose of the sharpening process is to make something sharp, to make it improved or better. What we witness today in a lot of relationships is people being better at tearing one another down than building one another up, and we’ve got to do a switcheroo to end up at the place we’re supposed to be. God is not moving us about like chess puns. He’s given us the ability to attract blessings through His love. So, the more we walk in God’s love, the closer we are to all the goodies He has in store for our lives. This begs us to always put ourselves in check when it comes to our motives, and sometimes this is what our lessons in the romance department are all about.

It is true that the heart wants what the heart wants, but that doesn’t mean that what it wants is right for us. When we find this out the hard way, it’s time for brutal honesty. A relationship gone wrong gives us a valuable opportunity to examine more closely what we don’t need and what we can’t accept. It also gives us a chance to see what’s not meant for us; it will help us see the kind of person that isn’t going to be helpful to our journey forward. They may be a super person, but just not right for where God is taking you. Heavenly Father knows the plan He has for you, and it is for your good. Trusting this truth is non-negotiable. We must believe in it to the point that it becomes the driving force that backs our faith.

Even though we might be heartbroken that the person we love doesn’t love us, at least not in the way we think they ought to, the other really important truth is that they are a mirror of what we need to see. The psalmist, King David, wrote in Psalm 51:10(KJV), “Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.” We need to be committed to praying this prayer, especially when it comes to partnering. Arrogance causes a person to hide behind the heartbreak they may feel, but humility allows us to accept some level of responsibility for it. We must ask the Lord to help us prepare spiritually for the treasure of the person that will be our partners. They are worth our every effort to get our hearts right so that as a couple, both individuals are right with God. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.