Forgiving Those That Hurt You

By Alexandra Copeland

In 2Corinthians 2, the Apostle Paul teaches the Corinthian church about forgiving someone who caused them a tremendous amount of trouble. In 2Corinthians 2:5-8(NLT) he told them, “I am not overstating it when I say that the man who caused all the trouble hurt all of you more than he hurt me. Most of you opposed him, and that was punishment enough. Now, however, it is time to forgive and comfort him. Otherwise he may be overcome by discouragement. So I urge you now to reaffirm your love for him.” The man who caused this trouble that Paul mentioned didn’t injure just one person, but many, probably causing resentment and anger to stir in their hearts. When something like this happens, it can spread quickly and fester if it isn’t handled. Paul, having the wisdom of God’s Word, put forth a spiritual practice that opened the door for both the injured and the injurer to have the peace of God. It is a must for those of us living today if our mission is to walk in God’s love.

Acknowledgement
Even small children that haven’t experienced much in life will deflect or absolve themselves of blame when they’re caught misbehaving. We saw this characteristic in humanity from the beginning with Adam and Eve, when they disobeyed God. Genesis 3:9-13(NLT) says, “9 Then the LORD God called to the man, “Where are you?” 10 He replied, “I heard you walking in the garden, so I hid. I was afraid because I was naked.” 11 “Who told you that you were naked?” the LORD God asked. “Have you eaten from the tree whose fruit I commanded you not to eat?” 12 The man replied, “It was the woman you gave me who gave me the fruit, and I ate it.” 13 Then the LORD God asked the woman, “What have you done?” “The serpent deceived me,” she replied. “That’s why I ate it.””

Adam blamed Eve, his wife, and she blamed the serpent that had lied to her. They faulted everyone but themselves. The truth is that all of us are responsible for the choices we make, and if we want God’s forgiveness, we must acknowledge this. So, in Adam’s and Eve’s disobedience, we see the gift of free-will choice on full display. God has given the gift of free-will to all people. He could have created us in such a way that from birth we’d do everything in perfect alignment with His Will and Word automatically. He didn’t do this. Instead He made us in His own image, and He gave us the liberty to make our own choices and govern our lives the way we see fit.

Heavenly Father didn’t want robots. He wanted a family. He wanted children, a people to call His own. He could have prevented Adam and Eve from making this huge error in judgement when they ate the forbidden fruit. He could have chosen not to place the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil in the Garden of Eden where Adam and Eve resided, but God does not restrict choices. He gave us free-will and said, “Look, here’s the earth packed with every good thing you can imagine. Now, go play. I’ve given you my Word to protect you and ensure that you get the most out of life that you possibly can, but it is completely and totally up to you how you want to play. You can do it My way, or you can do it your way. I hope you’ll listen to me, because I created you, and I know what is best.”

Most of us don’t readily acknowledge when we’ve sinned, erred or made poor choices. We don’t want to admit that our way is wrong. And not only this, we don’t want to face the consequence of our bad choice or wrong decision. God reveals time and time again in His Word how quickly and consistently we sometimes choose the wrong path. He offers His forgiveness, and knows we’re going to make mistakes, but acknowledgement is crucial. We must acknowledge our own errors so that we develop the compassion and thoughtfulness to forgive others who do us wrong.

Accountability and Comfort
There’s an old saying that when you know better you can do better. This speaks to being accountable for our actions. In 2Timothy 3:16, God tells us that all scripture is given by His inspiration, and it is useful for teaching us the truth, making us realize when we’re wrong, and correcting our wrongs to the point that we make better choices and do right. He has given us His Word to straighten our crooked paths so that our hearts and minds are changed. God is very interested in the condition of our hearts, because the heart tells the story about who we are choosing to be. If we have a heart to please God, we will hold ourselves accountable for our wrongdoing and repent.

God tells us throughout His Word to repent of our sins, because He desires to forgive us. He doesn’t want us carrying around darkness and heaviness in our hearts. He said to His people in 2Chronicles 7:14(NLT), “Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land.” Restoration and comfort will come to those who humbly seek God’s forgiveness, but there’s another part that is also awesomely important.

Jesus Christ gave the disciples, and us as well, a template for prayer in Matthew 6. He told us to ask God for forgiveness, and to do so as we forgive others that have hurt or wronged us in some way. Both of these go hand in hand. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 6:15 that if we refuse to forgive others, our Heavenly Father will not forgive our sins. For this reason, resentment in our hearts is a very dangerous thing. It is a stench that the devil loves and the Father hates. We must get rid of it so that we can approach the Father’s throne of mercy and grace with pure intent.

Sometimes, forgiveness isn’t easy. People can do things that really cut deep. They break our hearts, and sometimes trample on them thoughtlessly. We must be mature enough to recognize that holding on to these hurt feelings and resentment causes more damage to us than it does to the person that injured us. The worse thing any of us can do is allow the actions of a person to cause separation in our relationship with God. It’s simply not worth it.

Let go and let God! If we have trouble forgiving, we must go to the Father as humbly as we know how. He’ll help us let it go. Our prayer should be centered around asking His help to cultivate a greater well of thankfulness for His love, protection, and blessings; because when we concentrate on His goodness, and not the wrongs of others, we can release feelings that do not serve us well. Paul said if we do this, release the bitterness of an unforgiving heart, the devil will not outsmart us. We will experience the comfort of God’s peace, as we develop the maturity and love to pray for the comfort and betterment of those that have hurt us. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.