Before You Say ‘I do’
By Alexandra Copeland
One of the most
challenging areas of a single person’s life is very often
finding a compatible mate. It’s crossing paths with the
person that God has linked to your destiny, someone who
equals or exceeds your capacity to love with the heart of
Christ. Some have said that finding a needle in a haystack
would be easier. Well, nothing is too hard for God, but the
sentiment gives us some indication of how challenging being
single in modern times can be. It’s also worth mentioning
that the process of finding a marital partner doesn’t have
to be nearly as complicated as most make it. God has given
us a plan for doing this in His Word, and it works!
Ecclesiastes 6:10 (NLT)
gives us a yummy piece of wisdom to chew on. It says,
“Everything has
already been decided. It was known long ago what each person
would be. So there's no use arguing with God about your
destiny.” Ephesians 1:11(NKJV) cosigns this truth and
tells us, “In Him also
we have obtained an inheritance, being predestined according
to the purpose of Him who works all things according to the
counsel of His will,” God isn’t moving us about like
puppets, but He knows every detail of our lives. And not
only this, but He knows even the number of hairs on our
heads. There isn’t anything about us that He doesn’t know.
Sometimes we forget
this. The information is swirling around somewhere in the
back of our minds, but in many cases, we don’t allow it to
impact the decisions and choices we make. We behave as if we
know what and who is best for us, but no one knows this
information better than Heavenly Father. He created us to
desire marital partnership, and we can see in Genesis how
important the institution of marriage is to God’s plan. He
incorporates love, unity, and oneness into His purposes,
because these are defining attributes of His character.
Our mission in this
earth experience is to become like Christ and take on the
nature of God. This is His plan and purpose for the
institution of marriage, to teach us to love with commitment
and unwavering faith; for His Word tells us that love does
not fail. Act 17:28 (NLT) affirms,
“for in Him we live and move and have our being, as also some of your
own poets have said, ‘For we are also His offspring.’ It
is a dynamic thing, this love transformation we’re destined
to make, and many of us find ourselves way behind when it
comes to the timing and checkpoints of it. Any time that we
reach a place in our existences where we have a need that is
persistently unmet, it points to the possibility that we’re
behind schedule in terms of putting on more of the love of
God, so that we can walk in it to a greater degree.
Nothing will tug on our
resources of God’s divine love more than a marriage. It
requires that we are well-versed in operating out of the
overflow. So it is nonsensical to approach this institution
without the spiritual knowledge, dexterity, and flexibility
to keep the commitment on solid ground. Many of us have
allowed the darkness of the world to snatch our faith in
this area. We don’t even believe it’s possible to acquire
the inner spiritual strength to keep a marriage together.
God assures us that it very definitely is, and He is
committed to help us grow to such spiritual heights that
we’re able to manifest His Will in this area.
Heavenly Father honors
process. He could have created us without a free-will
agency. We could have come baked with the fullness of His
Word and Will already in our hearts and minds, but this was
not the case. God tells us in Ephesians 4:24 and Colossians
3:10 to put on the new man. To
“put on” requires
action. The process of putting on the Word of God requires
us to take off negativity and sin, and put on the goodness
of His Word so that we are transformed into the men and
women He has called us to be.
2Corinthians 7:1 The
Message (MSG) tells us,
“With promises like
this to pull us on, dear friends, let’s make a clean break
with everything that defiles or distracts us, both within
and without. Let’s make our entire lives fit and holy
temples for the worship of God.” We are to change our
thoughts, behaviors, and attitudes to reflect the example of
Jesus Christ. This is our responsibility.
God is an on-purpose
God, who says what He means and means what He says. He’s not
going to tell us to do something that He’s commanded us to
do for ourselves. His Word is alive and powerful; it’s
sharper than any blade made by human hands. When we study
His Word and digest in the belly in our understanding, a
supernatural transaction occurs. We are transformed from the
inside out. This is how God equips us with all that we need
to do His Will. This is how He produces the power of Christ
in us, and it all starts with knowing, believing, and
trusting His Word.
Increasingly marital
partnership has become more complex. We know this, and in
one respect it is due to the barrage of negative
information, influence, and distractions that we are
inundated with constantly. Our attention spans are shorter,
and we pay less attention to our souls. This should increase
our commitment to do as God tells us in Proverbs 4:23 and
guard what comes into and goes out of our hearts with
spiritual maturity.
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the
Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used
by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton,
Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
Scripture taken from The
Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001,
2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.
Scripture taken from the New King
James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used
by permission. All rights reserved.
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