How Do I Get A Boyfriend?

Finding the love of our lives is a very important process. We know from God’s Word that the first man had a need for companionship, and it had always been God’s plan to create one human being, and from the one, make another. Through Adam, the first man, God has shown us our connectedness and how extremely integral unity is to His plan and purpose for our lives. Heavenly Father is precise and intentional beyond anything we can fathom. As women, the nurturing and desire that is connected to the role of a spouse is woven into our makeup. This is a really beautiful thing, but somehow, society has sold us something completely different from God’s plan and purpose. This results in confusion, chaos, and defeat. The way to avoid these is to prioritize God’s way first, and to make His plan and purpose for our lives our greatest desire.   

Having a boyfriend is lovely. Some of us want this very much, to the point that we question whether we want it too much. Society pitches the independent strong woman paradigm very hard. Society also makes us feel guilty for not aspiring to that ideal or not meeting the standard of it. The common independent strong woman paradigm is one where she doesn’t need anyone or anything to make her who she is. She doesn’t need to depend on a man to give her things emotionally or materially; she can acquire and take care of her needs on her own. If all the necessary pieces of this picture-perfect paradigm were in place, it would present a superwoman that is a force to be reckoned with for sure, but alas, this is a narrative that no woman can fit. It’s not who we were created to be.

Humility and surrender are required for love to thrive. Wherever independence is valued and placed above humility and surrender, a train wreck is imminent. We are not monuments to ourselves. Facing this causes us to recognize how desperately we need the Lord. We also need people to love and to love us. As this truth comes front and center, we’ll then have a front-row view of this independent strong woman paradigm crumbling into many pieces. We then have to figure out what parts of it we can pick up, and what parts we’ll leave on the ground.

There are too many pieces for us to figure this out on our own. The Lord Jesus Christ is our Savior, and he will help us maintain the balance of being strong and tender in ways that please God. Whether man or woman, all our strength comes from the Lord. He is our strength from day to day, and without Him we would fall. As daughters of the King, we should never be mistreated, used, or abused, but we can never abdicate humility. We must always recognize and heed that we are called by God to live through Jesus Christ by following the example he left for us.

Everything God does sets a pattern that teaches us about His nature and perfection. Our approach to His Word can’t be one where we think, “Oh, that’s the way He did it way back then. We don’t have to pay attention to that now.” Well God is perfect. He’s Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. He knows the end at the beginning, and He knows the beginning at the end. In Malachi 3:6(NLT), He said, “I am the LORD, and I do not change.” He knew about internet dating millions of years ago, and He still holds us to the standard of unity, commitment, and love established through the marital covenant. We shouldn’t make the mistake of thinking we got it going on because of technological and scientific advancements. Our modernity and innovation are possible only because God allows them. He made them possible. So, we don’t get to disregard the patterns of His magnificence simply because we think we’ve arrived. God’s Word, Will, Wisdom and Way are never out of date or antiquated.

Heavenly Father’s way of setting things up is forever and always the very best way possible. He has done things with longevity, survival, evolution, and progress in mind. Genesis 2:21-22(NLT) says, “So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the LORD God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man.” This is not some random piece of information. It’s the piece that allows us, as women, to know God’s plan and to witness the pattern He’s set forth. God strategically positions us. He will bring two people together, and He alone makes sure that everything in their destinies is cooperating so that they are both in the right place at the right time. When we step outside of understanding and honoring God’s masterful design, power, and intelligence to this degree, we risk disaster.

Heavenly Father will take care of getting us a boyfriend, but we must understand that His way is always steeped in love. The most important piece of being strong as a woman is having spiritual strength. We must be committed to spiritually growing in Christ, and growth of any kind will require sacrifice. Picking up this piece will cause us to release the things that keep us held back so that we can embrace the things that propel us forward. So, Heavenly Father is looking at whether we’re prepared to surrender certain things. He’s looking very closely at our priorities and the treasures we hold in our hearts. Our hearts will tell the story about whether we’re drawing good things to us, or if we’re stuck in old ways and on track to keep drawing the same stuff of the past.

Some of us are continually picking up pieces that have no place in the woman God has called us to be. One way to examine if we’re doing this is to ask ourselves some questions and be blatantly honest with the answers. Have we learned to love more like Christ from our past relationships? Have we asked the Holy Spirit to guide us to what we need to learn? Are we willing to move the things out of our hearts that keep our blessings blocked? And most importantly, are we spending quality time with God every day and seeking Him more than we seek any other person or thing?

It’s a mistake to underestimate the treasure of meeting the person that will walk with us through life. It’s an even bigger mistake to underestimate God’s allegiance to our spiritual growth and our commitment to love like Jesus Christ. We can’t separate the way we demonstrate love in our relationships with other people from the love we demonstrate in our relationship with God. It is because of our love for Him that we can love others through commitment, spiritual strength, and generosity.

We should never, ever want to be independent from God. Instead, we should be depending on our Heavenly Father for everything. 2Corinthians 3:5(KJV) affirms, “Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think any thing as of ourselves; but our sufficiency is of God;” All that we are and all that we need comes from our Heavenly Father. When we behave as if we understand this truth, the boyfriend and all the other blessings he brings will enter our lives. ■  

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved. 

“How Do I Get A Boyfriend?”,  by written for Christian Encouragement and Inspiration© 2022. All rights reserved. All praise and honor to God through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.