My Boyfriend Gets on My Last Nerve

by Alexandra Copeland

Most people would agree that being single in today’s environment certainly has its challenges. Finding a compatible and eligible mate who is loving, kind, principled, and most importantly, a believer, is no small feat. When you do finally meet someone that seems to want the same things out of life as you do, it’s a very exciting time. If butterflies in your belly are doing the happy dance and you find yourself swooning like you did in high school, you may have found what so many others are looking for. Although this is a really wonderful thing, it doesn’t mean that those butterflies are going to stick around for the long haul. This is the reality that many of us have a hard time facing.  

In the very beginning, in Genesis 2:18(NLT), God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” Heavenly Father established the institution of marriage, and it belongs to Him. Although you wouldn’t know it by looking at how we’ve tried to change it, marriage was set up to accomplish God’s purposes, and one of those purposes is to teach us about love, unity, and commitment. The stability of our entire race is centered on the foundation of pillars such as these. So, when we cross paths with a person that we like and who really likes us, one of the most important things is going to be what this person teaches us about ourselves. This is the piece of the puzzle that allows us to grow and develop deeper intimacy in our relationship with God.  

It’s not uncommon to see single women that were once desperate to find Mr. Right not as happy as they thought they’d be in the relationship. After dating a while, both individuals reach a level of comfort with each other, and sometimes they begin to take each other for granted. The things she once found adorable now drives her nuts, and she constantly complains, “My boyfriend gets on my last nerve.” We are often annoyed to no end that Mr. Right refuses to change and step in line with our ideal of what he should be. A relationship can go from bad to worse very quickly when this dynamic is at work.  

Here’s the big piece of meat that we may have to chew on, we live from the inside out, not from the outside in. Proverbs 4:23(NKJV) says, “Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life.” Heavenly Father holds us totally responsible for guarding our hearts against such heavy negatives as bitterness, jealousy, selfishness, impatience, deceptiveness, and dishonesty. He warns us about these remnants of darkness in Proverbs 4:23 because our actions, thoughts, and words follow what is going on in our hearts. If we’re harboring the roots of negativity, the fruits will come back to bite us. Some of the worse issues of life will spring forth from the internal stuff we refuse to acknowledge, confront, and surrender.  

Our significant relationships are so important to our journeys because they often mirror back for us the very habit patterns we must address. In this way, the person we love can help us grow in God’s grace and develop the kind of flexibility that is critical for a good marriage. We sometimes focus on our boyfriend’s shortcomings as a way of not dealing with our own. Ephesians 4:31-32(NLT) tells us, “31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” 

God also tells us in Ephesians 4:23 to be renewed in the spirit of our minds. We are to have a change of mind and heart so that He has greater room to move in our lives. Jesus Christ will do a work in our souls through the Spirit of God that abides within, but we have a part to play in the process. We must put on a new way of thinking and change our attitudes, so that the love we have for our boyfriends is anchored in the foundation of Christ. Many relationships that could have led to marriage have ended prematurely because the woman of God doesn’t know, trust, or believe in the authority she carries as a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ. Don’t let this happen to you. Give yourself an opportunity to grow in Christ, and you will be pleasantly surprised by the difference it makes in your relationship. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved. 

 

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

“My Boyfriend Gets on My Last Nerve”, by Alexandra Copeland. Copyright © 2019. All rights reserved. All praise and honor to God through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.