Praying for Those Who Have Hurt You

By Alexandra Copeland

In Matthew 5:39(NLT), Jesus Christ instructs, “But I say, do not resist an evil person! If someone slaps you on the right cheek, offer the other cheek also.” This is where many folks hear the skidding sound of tires, because they’re thinking “Say WHAT!!!?” With most of us, if someone slaps us on the cheek, we’re not going to offer the other one; we’ll most likely get ready to rumble, but that’s not the way of Christ. This verse may sound extreme to some people, and they can’t imagine assuming this posture. It’s foreign to think that, first of all, someone would have the audacity to slap us, and secondly, that we’d offer ourselves up for more. We must know that our Lord is speaking of a heart that is filled with a different level of love than most of us see demonstrated in our daily lives. The only way to understand it and operate in it is through him.

In Mark 11:25(NLT), Jesus tells us, “But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.” Here’s where we get down to brass tax, because many of us go on about our daily business, and don’t think about the resentment we’re carrying against others. This is very damaging to our relationship with God, because Jesus Christ tells us that we have to forgive others so our Heavenly Father will forgive us. Not only will an unforgiving spirit short circuit our prayer lives, but it will keep us from the joy of life.

I’ve heard (and I’m sure you have to) people say they can’t forgive a person for the wrong they’ve done against them. This does more to hurt them than it does the person who committed the infraction. The heart is the innermost part of our being. It’s the place where our treasures in life are stored, and it is also the place where some deeply negative stuff hides out as well. Jeremiah 17:9 says that the heart is deceitful above all things; it can be desperately wicked. All of us make the mistake of holding on to emotions, attitudes, and feelings that undermine our faith. When this happens, we begin to attract situations that make us comfortable with things like resentment and unforgiveness; we don’t feel it necessary to get rid of them.

When someone hurts us, it makes us feel sad. Sometimes, it also makes us feel bad about our ourselves, because we internalize the pain. We can ignore this stuff for a season, but sooner or later its going to come to a head. It will affect us not just emotionally, but physically as well. It is the root cause of why many people feel as though a dark cloud follows them everywhere. They don’t realize that resentment and unforgiveness are sins against God, and therefore, are against their higher good. They must repent to God and find a way to forgive the people that have caused them to experience pain and heartache. 

Thoughts and feelings associated with resentment weigh us down. God wants us to surrender them, because we have an obligation to pray for the person that has injured us. Jesus Christ instructed in Luke 6:28(NLT), “Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you.” Without the love that Christ offers, we may not be able to do this. We may not be able to bring ourselves to pray for those that hurt us because the layers of pain, anger, and other remnants of fear are so deeply compacted. But God’s love can cut through all of it. 

Praying for those that love us is easy enough to do, but to pray for those that haven’t treated us well requires us to deny the flesh for the good of God’s Kingdom. The mark of Christ is to intercede for those who did not rise to the level of his love, because perhaps they haven’t been taught about it. Heavenly Father knows it isn’t an easy thing to do, but He also knows that if our desire is to please Him, we’ll get it done. We will let the love of Christ reign supreme in our hearts, and through his Spirit pray for those that have hurt us.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved. 

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.