Overcoming An Embarrassing Situation
By Alexandra Copeland
The dictionary defines
embarrassment as a feeling of self-consciousness and shame;
the discomfort associated with humiliation. To delve into
the root of this feeling is to discover that it is not
connected to the blessed existence for humanity that God
intended. After Adam and Eve sinned against God, they
experienced shame. Along with their sin came an awareness
that they were naked before God. Genesis 3:9 tells us that
God called out to Adam and inquired of his whereabouts. He
replied that he heard God’s voice and became afraid because
he was naked. Adam was ashamed, so he hid from God. We can
relate to this, because it is often how we feel when we’ve
been embarrassed in front of others. We just want to hide
and make the pain of the embarrassment go away.
An embarrassing moment like a
clothing mal-function, lipstick on your teeth, or letting
out an unfortunate noise in public are embarrassing moments
for sure. There’s no taking those incidents back, but these
little oops moments happen to everyone at some point in their lives and are
easily survivable with just a little bit of tact. It’s the
big oopsies that cause the most humiliation for us, and are
constantly on replay in our minds. These are the ones that
we need to handle with a level of Christian maturity.
One aspect of shame in the case
of Adam and Eve was their awareness of a vulnerability being
exposed. It is reasonable for us to assume that neither of
them understood the magnitude of their disobedience to God;
they perhaps were not aware they were impacting the future
of humanity. Internally, though, they must have experienced
a pain that none of us can imagine, because their sin caused
them to lose connection with Heavenly Father. They lost the
blissful state of holiness, and could no longer fellowship
with Him. So although they may not have understood the full
consequence of their error, they recognized they had made a
mistake in the sight of God, and their first instinct was to
hide from it.
The
Other Side
The old saying is that there are always two sides of a story. There is always more than one way of looking at something, and when it comes to an embarrassing situation, it is helpful to take a few things into consideration. The first of which is the fact that the reaction of embarrassment means that we actually care about the feelings and thoughts of others. Some people with narcissistic tendencies may not care about offending others with an off-color remark or joke. They may not have learned boundaries or have a filter. So on the other side of feeling embarrassed is also quite possibly a sensitivity to the feelings of others.
The old saying is that there are always two sides of a story. There is always more than one way of looking at something, and when it comes to an embarrassing situation, it is helpful to take a few things into consideration. The first of which is the fact that the reaction of embarrassment means that we actually care about the feelings and thoughts of others. Some people with narcissistic tendencies may not care about offending others with an off-color remark or joke. They may not have learned boundaries or have a filter. So on the other side of feeling embarrassed is also quite possibly a sensitivity to the feelings of others.
Embarrassment, the Teacher
In Psalm 119:71, David said, “My suffering was good for me, for it taught me to pay attention to your decrees.” Embarrassment isn’t a feel-good lesson, but it can teach us to wake up in areas where we may have been asleep. I’ve come across individuals that are very well meaning, but they don’t exactly value the contributions of others, and it doesn’t dawn on them to say ‘thank you’ or to demonstrate basic courtesies. Unless someone steps to them in a very real way, a person can be this way all of their lives and never address it. If we take the time to ask ourselves what can be learned from an embarrassing situation, we might discover something about ourselves that we need to confront. This isn’t about self-condemnation and putting ourselves down about what has transpired. It’s about a basic desire as a Christian to be better today than we were yesterday. This means that we should always be willing to learn something from our missteps and hiccups, no matter how embarrassing they might be.
In Psalm 119:71, David said, “My suffering was good for me, for it taught me to pay attention to your decrees.” Embarrassment isn’t a feel-good lesson, but it can teach us to wake up in areas where we may have been asleep. I’ve come across individuals that are very well meaning, but they don’t exactly value the contributions of others, and it doesn’t dawn on them to say ‘thank you’ or to demonstrate basic courtesies. Unless someone steps to them in a very real way, a person can be this way all of their lives and never address it. If we take the time to ask ourselves what can be learned from an embarrassing situation, we might discover something about ourselves that we need to confront. This isn’t about self-condemnation and putting ourselves down about what has transpired. It’s about a basic desire as a Christian to be better today than we were yesterday. This means that we should always be willing to learn something from our missteps and hiccups, no matter how embarrassing they might be.
Own It!
When a vulnerability is exposed, we feel it in our guts. Sometimes we begin to sweat profusely and become overly anxious. This happens when something has touched a spot in our souls that elicited a response from us that we cannot explain. Don’t you hate when this happens. It’s a cringe-worthy moment for sure, and it’s one we have to own. It’s an incident that becomes a marker in time for us, because it signals that it’s time to pull back the layer and examine what’s underneath. Some of us are really hard on ourselves, and we punish ourselves for mistakes by coming down even harder on ourselves.
When a vulnerability is exposed, we feel it in our guts. Sometimes we begin to sweat profusely and become overly anxious. This happens when something has touched a spot in our souls that elicited a response from us that we cannot explain. Don’t you hate when this happens. It’s a cringe-worthy moment for sure, and it’s one we have to own. It’s an incident that becomes a marker in time for us, because it signals that it’s time to pull back the layer and examine what’s underneath. Some of us are really hard on ourselves, and we punish ourselves for mistakes by coming down even harder on ourselves.
Galatians 5:1 (MSG) is
one my scripture favs. It says,
“Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never
again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you.” We
are not perfect, and we were not born into a perfect world.
Through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, we are brought
into a state of liberty, and ultimately this is the truth
that must be at the center of our existences. The love of
Christ brings liberty, but fear will always keep us trapped.
There’s no greater bondage than fear, and believe it or not,
most of us have made ourselves very comfortable living with
a fear of some kind. It holds us back, but we still protect
it, sometimes unconsciously. We will become embarrassed when
these fears are at risk of being exposed. Anything in the
dark will ultimately be exposed by the light. Embarrassing
moments created when a raw nerve is touched isn’t a time to
hide. It represents an opportunity to get at the root of why
we sometimes betray ourselves to protect our fears.
Let It Go
At the end of the day, it isn’t helpful to our journeys to hold on to anything that doesn’t help us to grow and go further in Christ. We are overcomers and forever beings through our Lord Jesus Christ. We’re going to be around a really, really, really long time, and this earth experience is but a moment. It’s best to be good to ourselves by letting go of the awkwardness of embarrassment through prayer, forgiving ourselves, and taking whatever necessary actions we can to remedy the situation; whether that is through apologies or kindness. Jude 1:21 tells us to keep ourselves in the love of God, this is the best way to overcome any obstacle in life. As long as our faith remains in God through Christ, the knowledge of His grace will erase our embarrassment and shame, and continue to direct our hearts to His love. ■
At the end of the day, it isn’t helpful to our journeys to hold on to anything that doesn’t help us to grow and go further in Christ. We are overcomers and forever beings through our Lord Jesus Christ. We’re going to be around a really, really, really long time, and this earth experience is but a moment. It’s best to be good to ourselves by letting go of the awkwardness of embarrassment through prayer, forgiving ourselves, and taking whatever necessary actions we can to remedy the situation; whether that is through apologies or kindness. Jude 1:21 tells us to keep ourselves in the love of God, this is the best way to overcome any obstacle in life. As long as our faith remains in God through Christ, the knowledge of His grace will erase our embarrassment and shame, and continue to direct our hearts to His love. ■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT)
are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation,
copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House
Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights
reserved.
Scripture taken from The Message.
Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used
by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.
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