Is It Okay To Be Lonely?

"Who being the brightness of his glory, and the express image of his person, and upholding all things by the word of his power, when he had by himself purged our sins, sat down on the right hand of the Majesty on high;” Hebrews 1:3 (KJV)

By Alexandra Copeland

Being single for longer than you’d like is very challenging for some Christians. Questions and advice about this subject are never ending, and they are typically from Sisters in Christ that are dealing with feelings stemming from loneliness. Let’s face it, as Christians, we’re not supposed to be sad; at least that is the expectation of most folks. We’re prayer warriors and soldiers of faith. When our conditions and circumstances are out of alignment with the expectation, some of us feel as if we have to bring out the mask and put on a happy face, so that no one knows our pain. 

Typically, we equate loneliness with being alone or being by one’s self. Everyone experiences it at one time or another, and it would do us well to delve into the notion of being by one’s self to see God’s take on the matter. Sometimes we need to break things apart in order to establish the revelation that He brings to us through His matchless Word. We’ll begin in Hebrews 6:13 (KJV), where God tells us something that is mind-blowing yet so very simple in its truth. This verse says, “For when God made promise to Abraham, because he could swear by no greater, he sware by himself.” Isn’t that rich?! It brings to mind the Christian colloquialism that says, “God is God all by Himself.”  He doesn’t need anyone’s help to be who He is. 

God’s Word never fails. He never falters and neither does His Word. If He says something, then it must be so. He cannot lie, and always speaks the truth. He’s so powerful and fierce, yet so merciful and tender with those whom He loves. In Old Testament times, in the case of Abraham, the Father of our believing, God backed up His promise to multiply and bless Abraham’s seed with an oath. He’s God!!! He didn’t have to do this—He doesn’t have to back up anything. One Word from Him is enough, but because of His grace and mercy towards us, He wanted to aid Abraham’s believing by giving him a guarantee. He swore by Himself, and no greater assurance could be given. God, by Himself, is always more than enough. 

Hebrews 1:3 (KJV) says, “Who being the brightness of his glory, and the express image of his person, and upholding all things by the word of his power, when he had by himself purged our sins, sat down on the right hand of the Majesty on high;” Jesus Christ did for us what no other could do. He, by himself, nailed our sins to the cross and crucified them for all eternity. Our past sins, our present sins, and our future sins; Christ took care of them all. Over two thousand years ago his blood was shed, and it’s as powerful today as it was back then. Because of him, we are alive. We can walk in health, free of sickness and disease. Because of Him, we will live an eternity in his company. He had redeemed us! Glory to his precious name! 

We can see from these verses in Hebrews 6:13 and Hebrews 1:3 that God knows who He is. This is a phenomenal thing. Not only does He want us to know who He is, but He wants us to know who and what we are through Him. Colossians 3:3 (NKJV) says, “For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.” Glory Hallelujah! How powerful is that?! Every drop of our existence, every part of us is hidden in Christ. We are fully covered in him, swallowed up in his goodness. This is super yummy, because you see, we know from his life and ministry on earth that Christ doesn’t half-step. He dots every ‘i’ and crosses every ‘t’. Nothing gets left undone with the Master. So, when God’s Word tells us that we’re hidden in Jesus Christ, by golly we’re completely locked in. When God sees us, He sees His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ!

Our identity is Jesus Christ! This is the thing that loneliness will sometimes keep us from seeing. The danger in not being able to perceive, comprehend, and see our spiritual reality in Christ is not being able to walk in what is available to us. We really need a revelation of who we are, so that we can begin to rise up and do the things that God’s called us to do. 

Loneliness feels like a big ol’ gaping, empty hole, but actually the hole is not empty. It’s unexplored. The Apostle Paul cosigns this in his prayer in Hebrews 13:20-21 (MSG): “May God, who puts all things together, makes all things whole, Who made a lasting mark through the sacrifice of Jesus, the sacrifice of blood that sealed the eternal covenant, Who led Jesus, our Great Shepherd, up and alive from the dead, Now put you together, provide you with everything you need to please him, Make us into what gives him most pleasure, by means of the sacrifice of Jesus, the Messiah. All glory to Jesus forever and always! Oh, yes, yes, yes.”

We’re not some empty shell of a person, incomplete and without purpose or ability. We are chock full of everything that is in our Lord Jesus Christ. If he has it, we have it! Glory to God! So, is it okay to experience feelings of loneliness every now and again? Yep, as long as we snap ourselves out of it in the name of our precious Lord. Again, we need to learn who we are in him. God declared that He has made a lasting mark through Christ. He made us complete, put us together, and provided everything that we needed to accomplish the good works we’ve been called to complete. If God says it, then it is so. 

Loneliness is a form of lack, and as sons and daughters of the Most High God, we don’t lack anything. Many Christians want to be partnered up and married to a person that has a great capacity to love. God desires this for us more than we desire it for ourselves, but His first allegiance is to see us walking confidently in our Christ identity. Philippians 1:6 (MSG) assures us, "There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears." So, we can have every confidence, beyond any doubt, that when we explore the plan and purpose that God has for our lives, and begin to focus our every energy on walking it out, loneliness will dissipate, and the fullness of God’s promise will appear.■

Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. 

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.