A Sad Saved Woman


           “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” Romans 12:2 (KJV)

By Alexandra Copeland          

            When I first met Andreja a few years ago, I thought she had to be one of the most peculiar persons I had ever come across. She was very methodical about what she perceived as her Christian duties, and she didn’t like deviations from the script. It was obvious that she took her commitments to the Lord very seriously, but her demeanor was difficult to read. You really couldn’t tell whether she liked or disliked you, because she kept so much to herself and seemed to show as little emotion as possible. So when her new fiancée introduced himself to everyone, people were shocked. We were all happy for her of course, but no one even knew she was dating.
            The contrast between Andreja and her husband, Gary, was as different as night and day. He was bubbly and outgoing, and she was very much the opposite. It’s no secret that opposites sometimes attract, but when two people come together, often they will alter habit patterns and certain aspects of their personalities in order to make room for the other partner. This is one of God’s purposes for relationships. They teach us flexibility and help us to release and surrender things that no longer serve us.
            Some people don’t see it this way. They believe they have a right to hang on to all of the things of which they have chosen to define themselves. You will hear some people say things like “That’s just how I am…” as if they have written the final chapter on themselves, and nothing more can be added. God tells us in Romans 12:2(KJV), “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” He demands that we be flexible, that we’ll scrutinize ourselves to such a degree that when we recognize something that isn’t in alignment with the example of Christ, we’ll get rid of it. Our relationships can hold up a mirror that will point out these misalignments. They can reveal the things we need to change about ourselves.
            Andreja is not emotionally expressive, and this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It may have served her well prior to her relationship with Gary, but he had reached a point in their marriage where he needed more from her. When you see that something about you is adversely affecting your partner or others you love and care about, changes become very necessary. Andreja was stuck in her ways. She refused to be a little more adventurous and to demonstrate something that would make Gary feel as though she was at least happy and pleased that he was around.
            It is no surprise that Andreja had brought these same qualities into her relationship with God. Her husband’s complaints were symptomatic of a larger issue. She hadn’t realized that the new birth experience is the beginning of our spiritual journey, not the end. It requires us to continue learning, changing, and growing in Christ. Andreja, like many of us, wasn’t too fond of change. She wanted her relationship with God on her terms, and she was blind sighted by the consequences of apathy because of it.
            You and I cannot, nor have we the ability, to set the pace for growth and change. God has designed everything in life to move according to His divine plan. When you reach a place where you refuse to put on new layers of spiritual wisdom, love, and faith, you will find that you are unable to meet the challenges ahead; instead of you handling them, they will handle you! This is exactly what happened to Andreja.
            Her husband left the marriage, and rather than looking in the mirror and trying to do all that she could to save it, she chalked it up to an insane notion that God wanted the marriage to fall apart. She told herself that Heavenly Father had a greater call upon her life and that her husband was getting in the way of it. We will go to great lengths to absolve ourselves of responsibility, particularly when it means that we will have to release fears that have made us comfortable in our stuff.  Andreja did not speak of her sadness about her marriage for a very long time, nor did she admit it to herself. Instead she became more reclusive; a sad saved woman who secretly blamed God for her unhappiness.
           Jesus told us in John 4:24 (KJV), “God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth.” Most of us will place this verse in the context of religious practices and traditions, and never go deeper than this. We keep the worship part, but forget the spirit and truth part. Truth demands that we rise up and take our rightful place as believers in our Lord Jesus Christ. This means we’ve got to deal with the stuff that holds us back. Heavenly Father has thoroughly equipped us through the Holy Spirit to do so.
            To worship in spirit is to adore and honor Heavenly Father from a place of deep reverence and respect. We cannot worship God in spirit without the presence of the Holy Spirit. He aids us in our relationship with God, and he teaches us about Jesus Christ, so that we are able to worship God the way He is worshiped in heaven. Only the Spirit can teach us this, and we should lean on him, and allow him to guide us as we surrender ourselves fully to the Lord.
           Our hearts should swell with fruitfulness as we mature physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually; but many of us keep doing the same things we’ve always done and expect that God will respond favorably to our apathy and inflexibility. He warns us in Revelation 3:2(NLT), “Wake up! Strengthen what little remains, for even what is left is almost dead.” To wake up is to be alert to challenges and occurrences that will call upon us to act wisely and decisively. Now is not a time to duck our heads in the sand and pretend as if we’re doing exactly as we ought. God would never have caused any negativity. He loves both Andreja and Gary, and wanted to bless their union. Through Christ, their marriage could have been saved, but Andreja (and in some ways Gary as well) would not stretch outside her comfort zone.
           We go to God with all of these feelings and emotions beneath the surface, and we will often do this without a repentant heart. We look to receive from Him when we’ve not represented the truth of who we are in Christ. We were not designed to be stagnant and immovable, but dynamic and flexible. We were built for spiritual promotion and elevation. This calls upon our behaviors, attitudes, emotions, thoughts, and confessions to change as we gain more knowledge of God through His Word.
            Romans 12:2 tells us to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. As Christians we have to expect transformation as a way of life. God will help us surpass some of the conditions and circumstances that many of us face. He will guide us through rocky terrain, and set our feet upon higher ground, but we’ve got to learn to see obstacles as a call to grow and put on new mercies everyday through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. God never wants us to lose in life, and if we commit to present ourselves to Him honestly, with an eagerness to go higher in Him, we will meet every challenge of life with success. ♦

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

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