Choose To FORGIVE

 

 "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." Ephesians 4:32 (ESV)

by Alexandra Copeland

Individuals in the mental health field generally define forgiveness as a conscious and deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance towards a person or a group. The formal definition of forgiveness is to grant a pardon for an offense or a debt. It is to give up all claims on an account. In other words, to forgive means to wipe the slate clean when someone has wronged you. Given its definition, it is not difficult to see that the act of forgiveness can potentially build a foundation for a better relationship, or at the very least, it can be the vehicle by which a relationship is restored. For the Christian though, a forgiving heart has far greater importance.

Many of us are still carrying wounds from things that were committed against us long ago. Some of us harbor this pain in our souls, and it can be a very damaging reality for our spiritual walk in Christ. As an adult, you might have heard someone you know say something like "I will never forgive him for hurting me the way that he did." Or maybe you have heard "I hope someone makes her feel as horrible as she made me feel." These statements indicate that the person that has been hurt is still holding on to the pain. 

God tells us in Ephesians 4:31-32 The Message (MSG), “Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.”  He tells us to make a clean break from cutting folks with our words, backbiting, and profane talk, because these things cause us harm. They weigh us down and keep us from all the good things that God has in store for us.

Vengeance, resentment, and bitterness are blessing blockers. They keep us tied to the past so that we cannot move forward in the most productive way possible. 2 Corinthians 5:17 tells us, “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” Everything that our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, has taught us will move us in a forward and upward progression. There is no regression or going backwards when it comes to the things of God, for 2 Corinthians 9:8 (NLT) affirms, “And God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others.”

The ability to forgive others, no matter what they might have done against us or to us, is one of the greatest demonstrations of our love for God. People can be very cruel, this is something that all of us know, but as Christians, we do not walk by the flesh, but by the spirit. This means that we must have a different approach; one that conveys God’s loving kindness.

Paul tells us in Ephesians 6:12 (NLT)12, “For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.”  Coming face to face with those that are unkind, or that would like nothing better than to see us fail, it can be challenging to remember Ephesians 6:12, but we must resist the temptation to render evil for evil. Those that come against us often do so because they have not learned to recognize and resist the devil or his demonic spirits.

Anyone who knows the better way of life that Jesus Christ has made available will not choose to respond in darkness, but in love. This is what forgiveness is all about. 2Peter 1:5-8 tells us, “5 In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God’s promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, 6 and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, 7 and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone. 8 The more you grow like this, the more productive and useful you will be in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 But those who fail to develop in this way are shortsighted or blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their old sins.”

We cannot afford to forget that we have been cleansed from our sins, and made brand new in Christ. We didn’t receive this extraordinary gift because of anything that we did ourselves. God poured His love into us and made Himself at home in us to reveal all the wonderful things that He wants for us. When we hold a grudge against someone, we close our eyes to God’s goodness. This kind of unforgiving heart keeps us locked-in to negativity. Then, we wonder why we can’t get ahead, or why certain situations and circumstances always seem to hunt us down. It’s because our focus is still on the past—still on the situation or event that prompted us to hold a grudge in the first place.

What we focus on will increase. This is bible! The wisdom of Proverbs 4:23 (KJV) tells us to, “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” The occupation of our hearts will manifest in our lives, this is one of the reasons that God warns us to guard it. We have to let go of everything that does not build us up, and surrender it to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

In his letter to the Philippians, the Apostle Paul wrote in Philippians 3:13-14(NLT), “13 No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.”  The Apostle wanted the church to understand that he had not achieved through Christ all that was possible in his human experience, but he was not going to allow this to keep him down. He had singularity of purpose, and it was to forget the past and look forward to what lies ahead—to keep his eyes on the prize. What a wonderful lesson for us to learn.

Our Heavenly Father knows that we cannot serve two masters. We can’t stay focused on the past and move forward in Christ at the same time. One of them has to be relinquished, and it is our choice to decide which one. Forgiveness may not come as easily as we would like, but if our aim is to please God, we’ll choose to forgive everyone who has wronged us, so that our hearts are light and free to love and honor our God. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright ©1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.