Doing the Monkey Dance Too Long

I’ve known my girlfriend’s son, Benjamin, since he was a baby. It has been a joy to watch him turn adversities into triumphs, as he grew into a very successful and accomplished young man. In my eyes, he’s always been beautiful, but with a slouch and awkward walk, Benjamin had a tough time in school. Some kids can be cruel and make fun of anything they perceive as different, but that didn’t stop him from falling in love at least a dozen times before he was even eight years old. Girls broke his little heart every time, and to cheer him up on those down days, his mom would put on a happy song. She’d get him to laugh and have fun doing what they affectionately called the monkey dance. Bless his heart, Benjamin didn’t have a lick of rhythm, and the monkey dance was just about the only move he could manage. This didn’t change much as he got older. He still can’t bust a move, but he matured out of the awkward phase very nicely and grew into quite the heartbreaker himself.

After graduating college and starting a great career, I was surprised to learn that Benjamin had sworn off marriage, that he had no interest in it whatsoever. His stance was an enigma to me. I couldn’t reconcile that lovesick little boy with a handsome man of such promise who couldn’t imagine himself in a committed marital relationship. As I gave it more thought, I wondered if his school-age years of rejection and bullying had hardened his heart or was he actually trying to protect it? I didn’t know, but when my niece came to visit and wanted me to introduce them, I really struggled with whether I should or not.

My niece is accomplished in her own right and isn’t shy about voicing her desire for marriage and a family one day. I explained to her why I believe possibly dating someone who doesn’t want this sends the wrong message. It doesn’t convey a fully persuaded faith regarding the strength of her own desires.

Hebrews 11:1(KJV) tells us, “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Faith is the title deed to the thing we’re hoping to receive, even though we haven’t received it yet. It means that we are so confident in the Lord’s provision and goodness, that we know, beyond knowing, He’s going to give us the desire of our hearts. James 2:26(NLT) tells us that “Just as the body is dead without breath, so also faith is dead without good works.” In other words, you and I can talk a good game all day long. We can say repeatedly that we’re believing and trusting God fully, but just saying the words will not get us to a manifestation destination. Faith demands that we back it up with action, and this is where many of us lose steam.

Faith doesn’t respond to a whim. Romans 10:17 tells us that faith comes by hearing the Word of God. It comes wherever the Word of God is acted upon and believed. Everything you and I will ever need to walk by faith is in God’s Word. He tells us what and how to believe in faith through the Lord Jesus Christ, and we need to be clear about it if pleasing God is our goal.

In Ephesians 5:25(NLT), God tells us His standard for how a husband should love his wife. This verse says, “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.” God would not place an expectation like this on a man if the man wasn’t able to fulfill it. Therefore, a woman desiring marriage should not only know this is God’s standard, but she should believe God for a man that will love her according to His Word.

Proverbs 18:22(NLT) says, “The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the LORD.” The end result of ‘finding’ a treasure suggests the action of seeking one. It speaks to intention and expectation. These are faith builders. And if a man isn’t even at the beginning stages of this, he’s in all likelihood not someone with whom your destiny will beautifully unfold.
Doing the monkey dance at eight years-old will get you over a broken heart, but doing it too long means you’re either monkeying around with your life’s destiny or you don’t mind doing it to someone else’s. Life is designed to change its tune. When it does, we must be flexible and humble enough to change with it. For the believer, this means we understand that God is holding us responsible for moving His agenda forward, and sometimes this means we must abandon our personal plans and move according to His.

One of the greatest gifts we can give to the Kingdom of God is to be intentional about raising children who love Him. It’s an extraordinary thing to raise them in such a way that they will grow up modeling the example of Christ and will continue the legacy of God’s love in the earth. This is an integral piece to God’s plan. Everyone isn’t interested in leaving this kind of imprint, and that’s their prerogative, but for those who have a desire to be married and have families, know that this is indeed special. Trust God to present you with someone who honors and wants the same thing. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Doing the Monkey Dance Too Long” by Alexandra Copeland. Copyright© 2020. All rights reserved. All praise and honor to God through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.