Feeling Misunderstood

By Alexandra Copeland

Were you ever bullied in school, or made to feel inadequate because you didn’t quite fit with the “IN” crowd? This happened to a lot of us, and we were made to feel bad about the things that made us unique. Even as adults it can be challenging to feel accepted by our colleagues at work, and even in our faith communities. For various reasons, some of us simply aren’t as comfortable with social interactions as others, and it can be a very lonely feeling. Sometimes, it can feel as though we’re being ostracized and we’re not quite sure why. The one thing we shouldn’t do is internalize this feeling to the point of isolating ourselves altogether. There are a few very important things to consider when it seems we’re misunderstood by others, and it could shed a whole new light on how we appreciate and value our own uniqueness.

Trust in God’s Plan for your life
The first important piece of information you should know is that nothing about you is a mistake. Romans 8:29(NLT) says, “For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.” As we get older and grow into adults, the pain and feelings associated with not being accepted can still be in our hearts. But we must be clear that the validation that all of us need and look for must come from God. We should never look to people for things that only God can provide. 

Many of us make this mistake. A lot of times we look to receive validation from other people, and we end up getting disappointed because they don’t give us what we need. We must remember that God knew us even before we were placed in our mother’s wombs. He wove a plan for our existence long before we came on the scene. We must trust that God knew exactly what He was doing when He created us, and He has a good plan for our lives.

In Proverbs 3:5-7(NLT), through the psalmist, God tells us, “5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. 6 Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. 7 Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom. Instead, fear the LORD and turn away from evil.” We’re not going to understand certain things in life, this is a given. They won’t make sense to us, and this makes the passage in Proverbs 3:5-7 even more meaningful. When it seems we’re being misunderstood, or we’re feeling as though no one understands us, we need to trust in the Lord with all our hearts and not try to make sense of everything. Verse 6 tells us to seek His Will in ALL we do, and sometimes this is the place where we get a little off track.

Time to get really clear
Some of us respond to being misunderstood by others with further isolating ourselves and being distant. One of the reasons we do this is because we still have pain. People’s lack of acceptance of us is disappointing, but our Heavenly Father wants to heal the hurt inside our hearts if we’ll let Him. There are two things we need to understand to lay the groundwork for the healing God will provide, so that we become more confident within ourselves. The first piece of yumminess is that you must consider the possibility that a whole lot of people are just not going to get you. They won’t understand some of the unique qualities that make you the person you are. This is something you must accept, because again, God didn’t make a mistake when He made sure you would have a space on this planet. He has a purpose for your being here.

The other thing to be really clear about is that you must learn to manage your uniqueness and do so in a way that captures the purpose that God intended it. Being misunderstood isn’t a handicap. It is a blessing if you know how to manage it. Ecclesiastes 3:11(NLT) tells us, “Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.” There’s something God has placed in your heart, and it is solely your responsibility to find out what it is. To do this, it is critical to spend quality time with Him.

As we begin to seek the Father’s guidance and gain understanding about how to navigate our space and place on this earth, it is inevitable that there will be a few things we need to tweak within ourselves. God will lead us in this process, and He will help to shape and mold us into what we are destined to be. Pray that He will impress on your heart how special you are to Him and be willing to surrender your all to His purpose. Your destiny in Christ is the most important objective of your existence and as you pursue it, you’ll be a gift to those God has ordained to be influenced by you. They will understand you in the ways that matter most to Heavenly Father, and you will be rewarded for your obedience to seek God’s Will and approval for your life.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Feeling Misunderstood” by Alexandra Copeland © 2019. All rights reserved. All praise and honor to God through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.