Three Kinds of Friends
“And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. And God has given us this task of reconciling people to him.”2 Corinthians 5:18 (NLT)
by Alexandra Copeland
When it comes to friendships,
it’s no secret that as Christians we have to use a great
deal of care, both in how we choose them and who we choose.
This can pose quite the dilemma at times, particularly if
you are in a position where most of your friends were with
you before your spiritual transformation. You’re a new
creation in Christ Jesus, and they may not understand the
changes that are taking place in your life as your soul
catches up with your new spiritual reality. Of course you
are going to talk, think, and behave differently. There are
some things that you used to do that you simply cannot do
anymore, because those things will grieve your spirit. Your
friends may not understand this, so does this mean that you
have to kick them to the curb?
One thing’s for sure, your
friends will not understand your role as a Christian if you
do not understand it yourself. God’s Will and intention is
that you are a beacon of love and light for all those who
know and love you. He would not have you to be mean,
judgmental, or elitist in your treatment of others. It can
be a delicate balance I know, but it is one that you have
been well equipped by the spirit to handle.
The Apostle Paul said in 2
Corinthians 5:18 (NLT),
“And all of this is a
gift from God, who brought us back to himself through
Christ. And God has given us this task of reconciling people
to him.” All of us, every single born again Christian
has been given the responsibility and task of carrying forth
the ministry of reconciliation. We are to be the conduit by
which others can receive God’s Word, be reminded of their
spiritual identity in Christ, and then make the volitional
choice to give their lives to Him through our blessed Lord.
Just as there are three
stages in human development, the same can be said of
spiritual development as well. Infancy, adolescent, and
grown-up or mature levels of development can also be applied
to the spiritual realm. One moves from one phase of maturity
to the next as he or she increases their efforts to read and
study God’s Word, live it through faith, and be attentive to
his or her prayer life. To the extent that we are not
actively pursuing the things of God, we might find ourselves
stuck in one level of development too long.
INFANCY PHASE
Some of our friends may not be born again Christians or they’ve yet to cultivate an enduring commitment to God through Jesus Christ. In many circles, a spiritual infant is someone that is new to the Word and has recently embarked upon this extraordinary life as a Christian. A spiritual infant can also be a person that has been in the faith for many years, but has not committed themselves to grow spiritually. In 1Peter 2:2 (NLT), Peter said to those who were not full-grown in the ways of Christ, “2 Like newborn babies, you must crave pure spiritual milk so that you will grow into a full experience of salvation. Cry out for this nourishment.” Many of those with whom we have relationships are still in spiritual infancy, and we have a responsibility to pray for them. God has also entrusted us to instruct and help them to grow in Christ where we can. These are the individuals for whom we must be incredibly grateful to God. They provide us with the greatest opportunity to share the gospel and the love of Christ. In other words, they give us an opportunity to both be a blessing and to receive one.
Some of our friends may not be born again Christians or they’ve yet to cultivate an enduring commitment to God through Jesus Christ. In many circles, a spiritual infant is someone that is new to the Word and has recently embarked upon this extraordinary life as a Christian. A spiritual infant can also be a person that has been in the faith for many years, but has not committed themselves to grow spiritually. In 1Peter 2:2 (NLT), Peter said to those who were not full-grown in the ways of Christ, “2 Like newborn babies, you must crave pure spiritual milk so that you will grow into a full experience of salvation. Cry out for this nourishment.” Many of those with whom we have relationships are still in spiritual infancy, and we have a responsibility to pray for them. God has also entrusted us to instruct and help them to grow in Christ where we can. These are the individuals for whom we must be incredibly grateful to God. They provide us with the greatest opportunity to share the gospel and the love of Christ. In other words, they give us an opportunity to both be a blessing and to receive one.
ADOLESCENT OR PUBERTAL PHASE
We are very often teachers and mentors to those of our friends that are in an adolescent or pubertal phase of spiritual maturity and development. Sometimes we are at this stage ourselves, and our friendships with others can be one of mutual encouragement, learning, and understanding. The important thing to remember is that we were not meant to remain at this stage for years and years. 1Thessalonians 4:1-2(NLT) tells us, “Finally, dear brothers and sisters, we urge you in the name of the Lord Jesus to live in a way that pleases God, as we have taught you. You live this way already, and we encourage you to do so even more. 2 For you remember what we taught you by the authority of the Lord Jesus.” We are to grow and abound in spiritual matters more and more, and as we do so, we will no doubt be in a better position to mentor and encourage our beloved friends that are at an infant or adolescent stage of spiritual maturity.
We are very often teachers and mentors to those of our friends that are in an adolescent or pubertal phase of spiritual maturity and development. Sometimes we are at this stage ourselves, and our friendships with others can be one of mutual encouragement, learning, and understanding. The important thing to remember is that we were not meant to remain at this stage for years and years. 1Thessalonians 4:1-2(NLT) tells us, “Finally, dear brothers and sisters, we urge you in the name of the Lord Jesus to live in a way that pleases God, as we have taught you. You live this way already, and we encourage you to do so even more. 2 For you remember what we taught you by the authority of the Lord Jesus.” We are to grow and abound in spiritual matters more and more, and as we do so, we will no doubt be in a better position to mentor and encourage our beloved friends that are at an infant or adolescent stage of spiritual maturity.
FULL GROWN OR MATURE PHASE
The most important thing to know about friends that are in a full-grown, seasoned or mature phase of spiritual maturity is that it is incredibly crucial to have them. They will inspire us to press on toward the mark of the high calling of God—to continue going higher in Him. They truly are our teachers and mentors, and we present for them an opportunity to both be blessed and to be a blessing as well. These are typically very busy people, and they may not have the wherewithal to fellowship with us as frequently as we might like, but our understanding is necessary.
The most important thing to know about friends that are in a full-grown, seasoned or mature phase of spiritual maturity is that it is incredibly crucial to have them. They will inspire us to press on toward the mark of the high calling of God—to continue going higher in Him. They truly are our teachers and mentors, and we present for them an opportunity to both be blessed and to be a blessing as well. These are typically very busy people, and they may not have the wherewithal to fellowship with us as frequently as we might like, but our understanding is necessary.
In John 15:8 (NLT), Jesus
Christ said, “When you
produce much fruit, you are my true disciples. This brings
great glory to my Father.” The fruit that
Jesus Christ is referring to is the souls of people. People
mean the most to God, and He holds us responsible for making
a spiritual investment in the lives of others—of speaking a
life changing Word from heaven into their beings so that
they can connect to Heavenly Father in the most profound way
possible. This is serious business—life saving business. So
our friends are way more important to God than they are to
us, and we have to see ourselves as more than hanging
partners, confidants, and besties. We’re very often the only
person who can stand in the gap and pray for their salvation
and continued growth in Christ. The bottom line is that we
truly need all three kinds of friendships to continue
thriving in the faith ourselves. ■
Scripture quotations are from the
Holy Bible, English Standard Version, copyright © 2001, 2007
by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers. Used
by permission. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations marked (NLT)
are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation,
copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House
Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights
reserved.
Scripture taken from the New King
James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used
by permission. All rights reserved.
Scripture taken from The Message.
Copyright ©1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by
permission of NavPress Publishing Group.
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