Loving The Skin You're In


“3 Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. 4 You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.”  1 Peter 3:3-4 (NLT) 
by Alexandra Copeland
When you’re trying to understand your Christ identity, a balanced self-esteem can be a very tricky thing to keep in check. On the one hand we can’t beat ourselves up constantly about our shortcomings, and on the other hand, we have to keep it humble 24/7 to maintain Godliness and not let arrogance cause our heads to swell. For someone who isn’t quite seasoned in the Word this can be very confusing. Even us older hands are thrown by it from time to time. Somewhere in the middle of “I’m not so bad” and “I’m ALL that and a bag of chips”, you might think we’d find a happy median, or at least that’s what we tell ourselves. The truth is, we’re receiving so many messages regarding what we should and shouldn’t feel towards the masterpiece we call “ME”, that even a happy median seems unachievable. Romans 8:7 tells us that the carnal mind is an enemy of God, and Jeremiah 17:9 (KJV) says, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?” Whewww!!! That’s coldblooded, right?! We’ve got a carnal mind and the potential for a heart that is deceitful and desperately wicked. So when you think about this and stack it on top of a poor self-image to begin with, how in the world can you love the skin you’re in?

God said in Jeremiah 29:11 (ESV), “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”  In no way has God been cloudy about how we should feel about ourselves. He loves us to pieces and we should love ourselves as well. God also knows our propensity to go too far to the left sometimes or too far to the right. He knows that we can go through stages where we do nothing but put ourselves down, and there are also times where we believe ourselves to be the bee’s knees. Heavenly Father is a God of order, so it is important for us to get this right and know His heart regarding issues of healthy self-esteem and well-being.

Loving the skin we’re in doesn’t mean that we fall head over heels in love with ourselves in an egotistic way. First and foremost it means that we understand we are being perfected in Christ. Moment by moment, day by day, we should be learning to lean more and more upon the spirit of Christ that is at work within us. We’re going to make mistakes as we journey forward spiritually; that’s a given, and it is completely wasteful to beat ourselves up over them. Romans 8:1 tells us that there’s no condemnation in Christ Jesus, and that’s good news indeed! So we can be free of our self-imposed definition of what perfection is, because just as we don’t have it within our capability to define what love is—what it does, and how it looks; the same can be said of being perfected in Christ. We don’t define it, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, does.

In Matthew 16:24-25 (ESV), Jesus Christ told the disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”  Here, we have a very clear picture of love. Jesus Christ said that when a person comes after him and follows his ways, mission, and example, they will find the true definition of life. This allows us to strip back all the other stuff that is peddled at us through the world, and zoom-in to focus our minds and hearts on how God wants us to love ourselves.

1 Peter 3:3-4 (NLT) will help us put a new stamp on self-love. It says, “3 Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. 4 You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.” One of the ways that God wants us to love ourselves is by focusing on beauty from the inside out. It may sound a bit cliché-ish, but this doesn’t take away the profoundness of its truth. All the good stuff that we could ever aspire to attain comes from God’s gifts of spiritual treasures, and these are housed inside us, in the innermost part of our beings.

God has told us that beauty indeed comes from within, and then radiates outwardly, but we can never forget that this is a choice. We came to God as we were, but He loves us too much to allow us to remain that way. One of our most important missions as followers of Christ is to acknowledge that we need his help. We get into trouble by thinking that we can do things on our own. Jesus told us in John 15:5 (NLT), “Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.”

God doesn’t define us by our flesh. Our bodies are His temple. They house the most important part of us, which is the gift of indwelling Holy Spirit. We are spiritual beings, and as spiritual beings God’s love becomes our new skin; we’re to wear it like a glove, every moment of each day.

1 John 3:1 (NLT), declares, “See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children, and that is what we are! But the people who belong to this world don’t recognize that we are God’s children because they don’t know him.” God loves us so much and we are indeed His kids. We’re made in His image and drenched in His love, but not everyone will see us this way. The world doesn’t recognize us as God’s beloveds, but instead it tries to bombard us with distractions and messages that keep us from loving ourselves in the way that He intends. We have a choice, and we don’t have to let this happen.

There are those who define perfection by the way a person looks—by the clothes they wear, or by hairstyles or makeup. In their eyes, everything has to look perfect on the outside, and as long as it does, perfection is achieved. This attitude and mindset promotes the notion that only those that are perfect in every way deserve to be loved or adored. We’ve been set free from this kind of bondage. Galatians 5:1 tells us, Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you.” Our worth is determined by God, and He loved us so much that He gave His only begotten son to die for our sins.

God knows that we have not yet reached the place where we’re going to be in Christ, but with every Godly decision and choice that we make, we can move ourselves closer to his example. We haven’t always been the Christians we are today. It took time, patience, endurance, and most importantly, God’s love for us to move through life with the courage and confidence we’ve cultivated. And as we progress forward, we’ll be better tomorrow than we are today; not because of any power or love that we have on our own. God’s Word and love has transformed us!

So loving the skin we’re in requires us to let go of the limitations that constrain us and seek to place us in a box. The key to a healthy self-image is renewing the mind to what God says about us, and He says that as born again men and women we are new creatures in Christ! Old things have passed away, and we can strip them off and let’em go. Just as Jesus Christ was a child that grew into a man, we are growing and evolving into the men and women that God has called us to be. Christ endured growing pains just as we do, but he continued on from grace to grace, always pleasing the Father. He taught us how to love and please the Father as well, and that’s truly all you need to love the skin you’re in.■


Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, English Standard Version, copyright © 2001, 2007 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright ©1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

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